[Arty/Ash] - But we're still friends...right?

[graveyardmoon]

Who:
Artemis
Ashtaroth
When: Thursday, 6/9
Where: Tournament arena, Pakerion
Before/After: After Alex's match on Thursday
Warnings: None

In which Artemis and Ash awkwardly discuss what the situation between them is now.



Healing the Ahura was tiring. Well, the crowds were tiring, too, the whole tournament was tiring, and it was stressful. She was looking after the health of a guild leader. If, in some way, she contributed to his failing, it wasn't just a loss of pride, it was a loss of life. She was distinctly uneasy with this, but said nothing to Rayu or to Rhys. She had accepted, and she was determined to do the best work she could possibly manage. But she didn't like it.

Pakerion was also a strange country. She'd been before, but only briefly, for this or that quest. Quests. Theresa had explained quests to her briefly when Ashtaroth had gone back in a moment of boredom to ask more about "experience". If nothing else, Ashtaroth was glad for the distraction. What was she going to do when she got back? She'd been so busy before, going in and out of Bastan like that... what would she do without those quests?

She sighed from her spot in the line she stood in, not noticing right away that she was next to buy a pastry. She'd discovered them at some point during the tournament and found herself coming back every day for one, swearing she wouldn't and then there she was, passing over a few bronze coins for the delicious treat. A cough behind her alerted her to the situation and she stepped forward, blushing in annoyance, before picking out the desired sweetbread and making off with it after having paid.

Stupid crowds. Stupid reckless Ahura. Stupid delicious food.


Chances were, she was about to add another "stupid [noun]" to that list.

Artemis was in attendance on Thursday, again at Nova's behest, to watch Alex's prize-winning match. He'd dressed down a bit, to combat the warmth, coming in a tailored crimson shirt and dark slacks instead of his usual suit with its fancy coat (the blood, thankfully, had come out after all). Afterward, as soon as he could within the bounds of civility, he took his leave and headed for the warp mage to return to the Nenakret.

He wasn't expecting to catch sight of Ashtaroth on the way. He stopped in his tracks, staring after her as she walked away from the pastry stand.

Artemis's feelings on Ashtaroth were...complex. Tangled. Uncertain? Many things, and he hadn't yet stopped and considered them long enough to unravel them. She was supposed to be learning resurrection to help him with Parthena, he'd shared his sob story with her to manipulate and endear her to him, they'd bonded over dead loved ones, and he'd claimed to respect her profession as something necessary for those who grieved. But all of that made for a relationship built on lies and dishonesty. Parthena wasn't real, he'd used his tragedy to get something out of her, he didn't actually care about her own dead mother, and he thought the Order of the Dark were just the people the church used to get grieving relatives out of their hair.

And yet, when he saw her, he found he had an unexplained, perfectly genuine fondness for her. What was there to even be fond of? She was a ridiculous teenager with a temper she didn't know how to keep in check, who worked for an organization he hated. He'd been using her. There was nothing to connect them now that Parthena's resurrection was an impossibility.

But he still found himself wanting to know how she was doing. Wanting to see how she was adjusting to this sudden awakening that, he'd found, was universal for anyone who'd been controlled.

He took a deep breath and started off after her.


She wasn't hard to follow, given she was one of the few people that wasn't an assassin sort that saw it necessary to wear all black in the blazing heat. She didn't seem in any particular kind of hurry, either, though perhaps she ought to make her way back towards the Ahura's chamber... he had a match soon...

She was briefly turned around by the crowd, licking her fingers as she turned her head to try and remember how to get back from where she was, when she caught sight of a familiar face.

It took a moment for her to realize who it was, as though the shock of seeing him had actually forced a moment's forgetfulness. A sudden rush of anxiousness made her wish she hadn't eaten the pastry- she still wasn't sure she wanted to talk to Artemis just yet.

...better yet, did he even want to talk to her? She hadn't really considered that, but given their history, well.

Well. He seemed to be coming towards her, so she decided simply to let him come.


She wasn't difficult to follow at all, though the crowd did make it difficult to close the distance between them. He considered calling out to her, but decided not to because it screamed of a desperation that he didn't want to imply.

It was a relief when she stopped, but not so much a relief that she'd obviously spotted him. He found himself hesitating, as though he'd been caught at something embarrassing. Someone jostled him and he stumbled, shooting an irritated glance over his shoulder at the perpetrator, but it knocked him out of his stupor. He closed the distance to Ashtaroth, adjusting the collar of his shirt and brushing the memory of the stranger's touch from his shoulder on the way.

He stopped in front of her, looking her over briefly before his eyes settled on her face. He drew in a sharp breath through his nose and let it out just as sharply. "Ashtaroth. What an unexpected venue to encounter you in." There was no judgment or disdain or condescension in his tone--he was simply looking for a place to start.


She had the silly desire to simply turn and keep walking into the crowd as though she hadn't seen him, because somehow watching him get bumped into was just as embarrassing as waiting for him to catch up to her.

It was awkward, because she knew what he had been doing. Theresa had told her the plan for Parthena. She could only assume it was never meant to be her knowledge, but because it had been tied in with the reasons for her bizarre questing, she'd been told without reserve.

Which made it even harder to know how to react to Artemis now. Pity? Derision? The same as always? She could always be angry with him for being friends with Nova. That seemed to have caused several people trouble.

And yet when he spoke, it was... strangely neutral. And she wasn't without answer. "Yes, I agree," she said, looking up at him. She was tempted to take hold of her hair to tug on, but her fingers were still sticky. "Normally I would not have even considered it, but my presence was requested by an acquaintance... and you?"


What acquaintances did Ashtaroth even have?

No, that was mean. Not that he shied away from meanness normally... Augh, this situation was vexing, to say the least.

"The same," he replied. Followed by an explanation of, "Nova," given with a roll of the eyes and a dismissive gesture toward the arena floor. He wasn't quite as annoyed by it as he pretended to be, though.

It occurred to him to wonder whether Ashtaroth was herself or under the influence of a controller, but he recalled that the so-called 'game' that those controllers had accessed them through was no longer functioning. It wasn't a relevant worry. He felt fortunate to have awoken past the point where that would be a concern; how surreal must it be to interact with someone who was merely being portrayed by an invisible force?

He found himself strangely at a loss for where to go from there. What did he even have to say to her? This sense of being utterly lost in a conversation was new to him. He didn't like it. It was uncomfortable.

He glanced down while he fussed briefly with his cuffs, stalling for time. "How have you been?" was what he finally settled on, but it seemed a poor choice.


Her brows drew in at the mention of Nova, a sudden dark look that she did not expand upon, but she glanced about suddenly as though to look for the red-headed alchemist with distrust. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her temper around him. "I'm sure he's been very concerned for you," she muttered instead, her eyes lowered and moving away.

She didn't expect him to be horrible to her, so when he wasn't, she didn't notice. But she did expect the awkward silence, and even then she didn't know how to interrupt it. It had been almost less awkward to be between Rayu and the Ahura in awkward silence than with Artemis.

Ah, question. "Well enough," she said, looking back up. "Apparently I broke free of the control of my player just recently. You did too, I assume. My player said what connected us has been taken down, whatever that means." She folded her arms in front of her, pausing to tilt her head and push her hair over her shoulder. "As for this, it's nice, I suppose, to be out of Bastan for a stretch of time and not be in an undead cave, or a forgotten laboratory, or a haunted forest... this is much less strange, in comparison."

She thought back to that and decided yes, that was true. And why, why had he been there for so little of it? (Unfortunately, Theresa had forgotten to mention Duncan's availability in comparison to her own...)


He wasn't sure how to respond to the comment about Nova, so he didn't. It was true, Nova had been quite concerned for him, but that wasn't anything he wanted to share with Ashtaroth.

It was a relief when she brought up players first. It saved him the trouble of having to figure out how to phrase it tactfully. "Indeed," was his answer to whether he'd broken free as well. "You've spoken with your player, then? I confess I don't see much purpose in contacting my own."

If there was any bitterness to her list of strange locations, it went completely over his head. He'd never told her outright that he wanted her to learn resurrection for the sake of bringing back Parthena, and so there was no realization that she'd been down in those places on his behalf in an attempt to become experienced enough to earn the right to the secret of resurrection.


"I have. I wasn't sure if I wanted to speak with her either- I didn't know what it would change, if anything."

And had it changed anything? Looking at Artemis, she could say that yes, it had. She could bring up what she had learned, but would it serve any purpose? She folded her arms in front of her, a gesture of discomfort and not so much the defensiveness it usually encompassed.

Would he continue to press her into any kind of service? She was quite certain she was free of that now if she so chose to be. Not that he had ever really done that... it had been an agreement of sorts.

She sighed, but instead of asking those pertinent questions, continued instead with the concept of players. "Supposedly mine had another before me. A mage. I... do have hazy memories of a mage, but nothing concrete. I think I would recognize her if I saw her, though."


He folded his arms as well, also a gesture of discomfort. It felt like he'd lost the ability to hold a conversation with somebody without any ulterior motive. When was the last time he'd had a positive conversation that hadn't secretly been fishing for information or attempting to establish connections for future use? Even meeting Alexander and Ravindra and Reilanin at Nova's insistence had been the latter.

Was he really incapable of being nice to someone without doing it to manipulate?

"Mine also seems to have others. I met one of them earlier in the week, purely by chance." Empty chatter, it just didn't feel right. He glanced away and then back to her, his brows lowering in a certain sense of purpose. "Did it change anything?"


"Did you? What was he like?" she asked, curious, an eyebrow upraised and hidden under her heavy fringe. Someone like Artemis? Completely unlike him? She remembered Rayu and Rhys... and Virelai, who tended to pop in quite frequently. They all shared bits and pieces with Rhys, but Rayu and Virelai... she hadn't made the connection quite yet.

Did it- she blinked at him, confused for a moment. "Change anything how?" Did he mean how she thought he meant or something different?...


"Almost exactly my opposite. It's baffling that we're connected at all, really." He hadn't exactly had the chance to do an in-depth character study of Ravindra to break down the ways in which they might be similar. It was possible the connection would become clear through repeated interactions, but on a surface level, there was nothing.

Her confusion got a raised eyebrow in return. She was the one who'd brought it up, how was he supposed to know what it might have changed? "Alter your understanding, answer burning questions?" he suggested. "Was it worth the effort?"


Ah, of course. She'd felt a moment that her mind was being read. Not something she wanted Artemis to be able to do.

"Well, I didn't have much to ask, really," she said slowly. Normally his tone would have gotten her a little angry- flustered, at least. But she wasn't sure where to go with this question, because she did have an answer, and it involved him.

She didn't feel any bravado, none of the fierce righteousness she would normally have felt under such a circumstance. Perhaps because it was Artemis? Part of her did not want to go forward with this because it was Artemis. But she could not go back to ignorance, and without it she could not move forward with him.

"My question is more for you," she said, not looking at him, but staring at a point below his chin, the fancy collar of his shirt. "... it doesn't make sense, does it? Our... acquaintance..."


His brows knit as something like resignation crossed his face. It had to come up sooner or later, but he'd been hoping for later. Despite the tenuous basis for their acquaintance, and the fact that it no longer served any purpose to him, he didn't want it to end. He'd retained so little upon his awakening, he'd like to keep what he had left.

He didn't think it would be particularly soul-crushing to lose Ashtaroth, or even that it might affect him deeply. He'd just...miss her.

"It doesn't," he said with a sigh. "Or, rather, it did, but it no longer does."


Eyes lowered, she nodded. She hadn't thought so. She'd done what she had with such a relentless drive that when she'd awoken she'd almost reeled from such a sudden stop. The tournament and healing the Ahura were diversions to a greater problem. What now?

Well, he was here to discuss the matter with. "I'm sorry. That is to say- I'm afraid there isn't much more I can do for you, I don't think. For your wife. From what I gather, it was never possible to begin with, and it was never something I could do anything about, but I... I would have kept helping, if it would do anything." Her words trailed off in a mumble, her eyes moving away. "...if just to end this properly."


He opened his mouth to correct the 'wife' to 'fiancee', but closed it just as quickly without saying anything. What did the distinction matter? She was gone and there was nothing to be done for it. She'd never existed to be brought back. There was nothing to be gained by being pedantic when it was the sentiment that mattered.

He was silent a moment after she'd finished, sorting through his feelings to piece together a response. "I do appreciate the sentiment." He unfolded his arms, dropping them to a more comfortable, open posture, which was largely manufactured in an attempt to make him seem less closed-off. He'd gotten quite good at manipulating people's perceptions of him by faking his tone and body language over the nonexistent years of serving Keryos. "But must it end?"


Did he? She realized suddenly she wasn't so sure, or less sure than she had been. She'd taken it for granted that Artemis considered her a friend and treated her nicely when he did that to no one else. But at the time, she'd had something quite valuable to give. Or, at least the possibility of it.

Would he continue with that now that it was not hers to give and with no controller to see them remain friends? How long would it last?

But it was Artemis.

"No," she murmured. "No, I... I suppose not. And a healer is always useful, right?"


He gave her a light, breezy smile that came easily and looked perfectly natural on him, though it was a rarely used expression and hardly genuine. She'd seen it plenty of times.

"Indeed," he agreed. "Even without the flimsy reasons given to us by those so-called players of ours, I'm certain we can find value in one another's company."

But how long would he even want to stay friends with her, given her temperament...


To give them time to come up with more flimsy reasons to interact, she couldn't help but think. And he was good friends with Nova... not exactly someone she wished to interact with. At all.

There were people all around them, and she could hear cheering starting up in the stands. She looked aside, her expression clearly uncertain, distracted only somewhat by the sounds around them. The smile he gave her seemed genuine, but out of place given the conversation.

"We'll think of something," she said when she looked back to him. "It's just so overwhelming..."

It hadn't been before, actually. She'd been handling the news perfectly well, watching others fall apart. But it was only now that she was having trouble fitting everything together. His "flimsy reason"- Parthena- had ceased to exist. What else could there possibly be...?

"Will you be here for much longer? I've got to get back soon..."


Artemis was good at making faked feelings look genuine, but true displays of genuine feeling were much more difficult. He had very little understanding of the nuance of emotion, having suppressed and denied any inconvenient feelings for so long, and that led, occasionally, to him faking something that didn't quite work in the exact context where he was using it.

The smile faded for a look of consideration as he glanced toward the general direction of the warp mage. "I had been on my way out. I admit this is not really my sort of venue." He looked back to her. "Perhaps we can catch up some other time."

He considered offering to wait for her to be through with whatever it was she was doing. Healing for one of the contestants, possibly, since she'd said she was here on behalf of an acquaintance and she obviously had some sort of schedule to adhere to. But...he wasn't that attached to her that he was willing to give away his time for no tangible reward after having just spent more time than he'd have liked on this pointless venture for Alex and Nova's sakes.


"No," she said in agreement. It wasn't her type of venue, either, but it hadn't been the type of request she could refuse. "I didn't want to keep you, if that had been the case."

Not that it was her fault if she had- he'd come after her, after all. Strangely sad and flattering both, but she didn't know how to sort out those feelings. She could have asked him to stay, but for what? She wasn't even sure she wanted him there.

Ah, but the flustered look when he'd bumped into that person on his way over...

A smile escaped her, a twist of her lips to one side. Not full, and almost sarcastic, hiding the doubt of her expression.

"Yes. Another time. I envy you the chance to soothe your sensibilities away from here. Ah, but it's only another day." Hopefully. The Ahura appeared to be doing well, but she wasn't much of a judge in these instances. If- when- he won today, it would be against Aervaes tomorrow. He'd already won his match earlier that day. Now it was just up to Rhys to win...

She'd almost let herself get lost in thought with him still standing there. "Don't let me keep you, Artemis. Stay well. We'll speak another time."


He watched her face run through its expressions, his own brow knitting in a discerning look as he tried to fathom what was going on in her head. Was this a mistake? He felt a little lost around her, now. No goal, nothing to strive toward but...but what? Continued interaction? Was that worthwhile on its own merits? He had trouble considering it so.

At 'don't let me keep you,' he forced a pleasant smile, giving her a very slight nod. "Farewell. Good luck with...whatever it is that's keeping you here. Perhaps you can tell me about it later." He gave a wave as he turned and vanished into the crowd.

As soon as he was out of her sight, all pretense of friendliness and pleasantness faded, replaced by confusion and maybe a tiny hint of embarrassment. He remembered being quite competent in social situations--when had he forgotten how to stop playing the game and just talk to someone?