[Zach/Rayu(Victor)] - No understanding 8(

[shadowyarts]

Who: Rayu(Victor) and Zachary
When: March 22nd
Where: Stonecaster, Safta
Before/After: After jailbreak part 4.
Warnings: Talk of murder, Zach is actually kind of mean in this D:

Stonecaster was one of Safta's riverside cities. It was small, humble, and quiet, much like the house Rayu had purchased for Zach. It was build of wood, two stories, and narrow, with Zach's bedroom window looking out over the river and the meadow along the other side. There was some furnishings-- a bed and dresser in each of the two bedrooms and a table set in the kitchen-- but for now the place lacked decor and extra light. It was quaint enough, but it wasn't home yet. It would need more personal touches and attention to feel like more than merely a place to stay. But had the tensions between paladins and berserkers broke into a war instead of a siege, Stonecaster would have likely been left well out of the way.

Unfortunately, conflict hadn't escalated that way. Zachary was safe now, however. That's what mattered. Rayu had stopped off along the way to dye his hair again, leaving it loose and falling over one eye as he did for his disguise. It may not have been the best look for talking to Zach, but he was a wanted man and was still forced to guard his identity. With a sigh, Rayu leaned with one arm against the door frame of the bedroom.

"I know it's not much for now, but you'll be safe here."


A house. Victor had bought him a house.

Zachary stood by the window, looking out towards the river. Neel had flown off to explore the place, leaving Zach with his thoughts and his brother. He didn't really blame the dragon, though it was a little saddening that he'd fly off at the first chance he got rather than sticking around.

Maybe he took after Victor that way. Fitting, really, since Victor had given him the little fairy dragon all those years ago.

At least Neel would come back to keep him company later.

Zachary turned from the window, looking at Victor. He opened his mouth to speak, paused, and closed it again. Of all the questions that had gone unanswered, he couldn't figure out which one to ask first.


Rayu straightened and stepped into the room. He stopped midway, not certain Zachary wanted him there or not. Zachary did want Victor back, but even with Anathema gone, much of Victor had to disappear. And stay that way. The least he could do is explain why Zachary had to go through that. Why Victory had chosen to become a traitor.

But where should he start? "I'm sorry, Zachary."


He actually laughed, though there was no smile. "I don't even know what you're sorry for. Leaving? Killing paladins? Never telling me anything?"


"All of it." His eyes found the ground. "Do you want to hear it now?"

Please say no.


"Yes."

He was probably going to regret this. He just knew it.


Rayu took in a deep breath to prepare himself, then sat down on the edge of the bed. "About a year ago, when I was still with the paladins, you fell ill." He risked looking up at Zach now. "You had a high fever. Bad cough. I took some leave off so I could take care of you." He smiled weakly, remembering a time when Zachary wasn't afraid to depend on him. "Do you remember that?"


Zachary gave him a confused look, uncertain what that had to do with anything. Of course he remembered it, though. Sometimes, when he wasn't feeling well, he'd wish Victor were around to take care of him.

He nodded silently, not sure what he could really say.


Rayu took his hat off and set it beside him on the bed. "You weren't sick, Zach. You were poisoned."

He met Zach in the eye. "You were dying."


"I... what?"


"They used you to target me. The assassins." He looked back down again, jaw clenched. "They made me an offer: I help them, or I lose you. I picked you."


Zachary stared. That couldn't be true. He got better just fine! He just needed rest and proper care and...

"Why?"


Rayu shook his head. "They had a plan for me. I didn't know at the time. Demons... the occult. I found a way to put an end to it, just a few days before your arrest. They won't be able to hurt you anymore. You're safe, now."

He laughed grimly and sunk forward. "...Is what I'd like to say, but thanks to me, you're not welcome in Bastan, either."


He listened, quietly, taking it all in. Demons, occult, assassins, plans. Had this whole thing been someone's sick plan? "What did they want you for?"

The part about Bastan went ignored, at least for the moment. He didn't blame Victor for that. Maybe he should, but he didn't. Victor had gotten him out, in his own foolish way.


Rayu's eyes found Zach again. "I thought it was for the assassin guild-- betraying the paladins, following those orders... Anything, to make sure they wouldn't hurt you. Ravindra, too. In the end, it was a cult that happened to be within the assassins. My body was to be used in some ritual. It doesn't matter now."


Zach listened, not believing what he was hearing. Victor's body for some demonic ritual? Did they even do demonic rituals like that anymore? What was it, human sacrifice? Why would they need to go through all that trouble for some ritual?

And then his eyes went wide.

"The people you killed..."


Rayu's eyes lowered again, closing as he let out a long breath at the thought. "Yes," he said. "That isn't something I can ever take back. I made the choice." His expression hardened. "And if I had to make it again, I would have done the same thing."

He wasn't here to ask for Zach's forgiveness.


"How many did you kill?" Zach was getting angry, he could feel it. "Was it just the paladins you betrayed that one night, or were there others?"


Zach had the right to be angry.

"Six. Ravindra would have been seven." Rayu was smiling now, weak and with heaviness in his eyes. "I tried to escape the assassins after that-- after guaranteeing you your health. They found me later." He took a deep breath. "I haven't killed more. Not since then."


"Would have?" He'd heard Ravi had been the only survivor. "What stopped you? You'd already killed six, what's one more?"


Rayu fell silent and gripped onto his own arm, for whatever meager security it would give him.


Victor's reaction had Zach second-guessing himself. Should he push? Was that not a safe question?

No, Victor had promised answers. And if it was a question he seemed hesitant to answer, Zach wanted even more to get that answer.

"Well?" he said, surprisingly firm in his demand.


"I couldn't."


That was so like Victor. "Didn't have any trouble with the other six."

Okay, no, that felt too mean, even if Victor did deserve it. Zachary lowered his gaze and muttered, "Sorry."


To say he didn't have trouble wasn't accurate. It tore Rayu apart from the inside out to do it. He could still remember it vividly: the shaking, his heart trying to beat out of his chest, feeling like he couldn't breathe. He hadn't just struck those paladins down for Zach. He had done it as much for Ravindra, hoping that through the extra effort, both could live. And he had thankfully been right.

But Rayu didn't need Zach to sympathize. He didn't want Zach to sympathize. It was important Zach continue to see it as a terrible act, no matter what Rayu's reasons may have been.

"Don't be. It's true enough."


Zach found himself wanting to sit, but he wasn't sure he wanted to share the bed with his brother. He was angry, confused, lost. Victor, while in the past a source of stability and a role model, was now ... Zach wasn't sure, to be perfectly honest.

"Why'd you let me see you? If the assassins were still after you, why didn't you just stay gone?" It didn't sound like he wished Victor had, though a part of him may have.


[The real answer was that Rayu was never supposed to exist. Victor was to remain Victor, and that plot was to have other resolutions. Victor wasn't supposed to go missing from Zach's life. Then Rhys was put in the hospital, and all of this backpedaling to explain it was no longer a matter of player handwaves to keep a scene going. These were explanations real people wouldn't swallow.]

Rayu gripped the edge of the bed. "The assassins continued to use you as a threat. I needed to see you alive for myself."


Zach frowned. "They didn't come after me until after I'd seen you again." The incident in the grove. Not an incident Zachary would ever be forgetting, and it still sent a shudder up his spine remembering it.


Rayu shook his head. "It wasn't ever about that. No matter what I did-- or didn't do-- they were going to kill you." And that was true, Rayu was confident. "All I could do was buy time until I could stop them."


If he didn't know better, Zach would swear this whole thing was giving him a headache.

Maybe it was.

"You said... I don't understand. What do you mean they were going to kill me? What for?"


"To break me for their ritual." All of it had been a twisted, manipulative ploy. Speaking about it unsettled Rayu all over again, but Anathema was dealt with. The demon was gone. It was over so quickly that it was still surreal.


...At this point, Zach didn't think he'd ever understand. Not the way Victor was explaining it, vaguely, with answers only to the questions Zach asked, when he wasn't even sure what the hell to ask.

He was too tired to keep prying.

Zachary turned back to the window, watching outside again. At least this place was peaceful. He just hoped it stayed that way. "It's over, right?" he muttered.


It was unfortunate that there was no way to explain it. Not in a way that would satisfy Zach-- or even Rayu, truth be known. Everything that fit under the heading of Rayu's life had turned into a jumbled mess he could only sort through one piece at a time.

Maybe with Anathema gone, things would slowly begin to make sense for the both of them.

"It's over," he agreed.


Zachary nodded. That would have to be enough, he supposed, as much as he hated it.

His head turned, watching something further away. This wasn't Bastan. It would never be Bastan. Bastan had been the only home Zach had known. He'd been too young to remember the farm, could barely remember their parents. All he'd ever had was Victor and Bastan.

At least he had Victor back...

He glanced towards his brother, a faint smile on his lips, even if the reason for it being there wasn't obvious. "I'm tired."


Rayu took his hat and walked back to the door. "Yeah, I imagine. Get some rest. We can talk more about what to do later."


Zach nodded. "Goodnight."


Rayu slid his hat back on and shut the door behind him.

He made a note and left it on the table, explaining he was out getting food. If Rhys couldn't find his way on for some time-- which was likely-- he hoped Zach would believe his brother was merely having difficulties with his hunting, or had run into other obstacles on the road, but would be returning.

There wasn't a lot of trust there, Rhys knew, but it was the best he could do for the two of them for now.