zenderael_mmo | EVENT: The Berserker Tournament

[Wait, has Ravi seriously not picked up on any of this? Eileen had thought it was all painfully obvious, but apparently not. Ravi, you are apparently not the most observant person in the world.]

No!

[.....that was a little too quick, wasn't it?]

Well, no, that's a lie, but I'm not sure if I can explain, really.

[And now Eileen's kind of kicking herself. Shouldn't she own up to what she is if she's going to slip up around Ravi the longer she's there with Ezra and Evelyn? But what if he hates her if she tells him? THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM, YOU GUYS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.]

[he stares at evelyn a moment and then just cracks up, because wow he did not expect that

he can't even comment back on it, and by the time he's stopped he's had to take his glasses off to wipe at his eyes] Y-yeah, I guess it is.

[eileen and ravi's exchange is just barely noticed... and eileen? he's got a small idea actually

he's still holding back some laughs, and he rubs at his nose, trying to compose himself again, eyebrows raised]

Zat so?

[didn't even catch whatever it was Evelyn said that has the Spenta laughing]

[he is fine with ignoring their half of the conversation if eileen needs his attention, at least he knows how to talk to her]

Do you need to talk? [as in, elsewhere, privately]

[ my, what a jolly fellow ezra is! her own smile brightens, and then she takes another bite out of her apple before remembering, unfortunately, as she chews, that she does not actually have an appetite ]

Mmhm. Eileen, you're terribly jumpy right now. [ glances at ezra ] And you are terribly jolly. [ she glances at ravi ] Are you terribly something, too?

[Eileen really doesn't want to have this conversation with Ravi, guys. :( Stop calling attention to her. The worst part about all of this is that she knows she should probably tell Ravi about this; she just didn't want to do it now. She thought she had more time.]

We probably should talk, but...

[Argh, Ezra, stop laughing at her. She knows you are. :( This is a big deal for her.]

This really isn't how I wanted to tell you, Ravi.

Sorry. [he grins at evelyn] You spend all day with a bunch of pallies and see how much laughing you get to do.

[not that it was entirely their fault but paladins + humour was a hard combo to come by

her comment to ravindra earns a bit of a quirk of the mouth but he keeps it to himself, glancing aside a moment before looking back, an eyebrow arched. there's no need to make it sound like a confession of love, eileen, seriously]

[WOW ezra that's a hell of a way to talk about your guild there, respect-- for badmouthing your subordinates to some Earth girl you just met right in front of them]

[there is some stunned indignation on his face that turns into regular indignation when Evelyn addresses him. she probably thinks she's being funny, but he hates that kind of thing.]

[instead of responding to any of it, he sets a hand on Eileen's shoulder and guides her away from the group so they can talk off to the side]

[Eileen's mostly just following Ravi in silence so she doesn't blurt out something incredibly stupid. She's pretty sure Ezra's laughing at her, and now she's about to tell Ravi she's from Earth, probably also that she's a player, too, because, let's face it, if she's going to be telling him the truth, she should probably tell him all of it or he's never going to trust her ever again.

Not that she's sure he trusts her in the first place. She's technically just a student to him, but that's totally not the point.

It's only once they're off to the side that Eileen says anything at all.]

This is going to be hard...

[It's okay, Eileen. You can do this. Deep breaths.]

See, the thing is I'm worried that once I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you're going to hate me or never trust me ever again. I wouldn't blame you for it, by the way, especially since this wasn't how I wanted to tell you anything, but...

[adsfjkwef;kljafds Eileen, you're rambling. Stop it.

Also, that is one awkward case of trailing off and once again not looking at you, Ravi. Sorry.]

[can't say he isn't nervous, she sounds so reluctant to say anything, it must be dire. but he waits (anxiously) for her to explain]

[and...she...doesn't explain... in fact, she just makes him even more anxious about whatever it is she has to tell him]

[he's her instructor, though. he's supposed to be somebody she feels comfortable going to for advice. personal advice, too. so he has to promise himself he won't react harshly, no matter what she has to say]

[and then he has to promise her the same thing]

Tell me what, Wallace?

[wait no he forgot the important part can we do over]

[Okay. Take two. You can do this, Eileen. You just... might not want to look at him. Just to be safe.]

Um... Well, the thing is...

[No, wait, not looking at him is probably a bad plan. Let's... try this again. Looking at him this time. Anais would be so disappointed in you, Eileen, if she knew her player was being a complete wuss about this.]

I haven't exactly been honest with you, or with any of the other paladins. I didn't want them to treat me any differently, so I just omitted a few things and lied about what I couldn't. My name is Eileen. I didn't lie about that, but I'm not from Safta like I've been telling everyone.

[Eileen pauses to take a deep breath and lets it out slowly.]

I'm from Earth.

[There was going to be more that she was going to say after that, but she decides it would probably be better to close her mouth and wait for Ravi's reaction. After all, if he up and snaps at her, he probably wouldn't want to hear the rest.]

[sinking feeling as she keeps talking. he's absolutely certain she's going to say something terrible, like she had to run away from home because she murdered her family, or something--murder doesn't count to kick you out of the paladins unless you do it as a paladin, right?]

[but the actual admission that follows is...]

[well]

[he doesn't quite know how to react to it]

[it's certainly not what he expected to hear, but it does explain why she was so antsy during that conversation. she was afraid ravi would realize it if he had to watch her around two other people he knew were from earth]

[well, being from earth by itself isn't so bad...]

Ah...

[completely lackluster nonreaction but he mostly just seems uncertain. at least he didn't hit her?]

[.....that's it? That was honestly not the sort of reaction she was expecting, but it was infinitely better than him trying to punch her or something. Though if she's being honest with him, she really should tell him the rest of it.]

And when you started training me wasn't exactly the first time we've spoken, though you didn't know it was me. Up until I came here, I played Anais Vallinar.

[Will he believe that? She isn't really sure, but considering she's so different from Anais herself, it might be a little hard for anybody to believe if they didn't know her.]

[THERE'S the reaction]

You played Anais?!

[but he doesn't sound angry, just shocked]

[He doesn't sound angry. Is that good? She can't tell. Or is that disbelief?

There's a significant pause as she shifts, folding her arms and adopting a stance that's painfully similar to how Anais carries herself, tall and proud. She even mimics Anais' tone of voice fairly well, though Eileen's voice is almost an octave above hers.]

Well, I cannot say I am surprised by the reaction, Savarna. Eileen is nothing like Anais, after all.

[Aaaaand back to Eileen, who now has her hands clasped in front of her and is pointedly looking away.]

And you probably hate me, too, huh?

Edited 2012-12-11 07:16 (UTC)

[WHOA no, mind=blown, you can't just go acting like Anais all of a sudden, Eileen]

[He is visibly startled by the sudden complete change in demeanor, and then visibly creeped out by the fact that she did that just to prove a point]

[does...does heimdall ever act like him to prove he was Ravi's player? wow, do not want]

Ah, I don't-- [still unsettled, trying to get it under control, but it's easy to tell he's not okay with what just happened] I don't think...that's appropriate, Private Wallace. [Rank used to put some distance in there--she just referred to him as an equal in a way that calling him by his first name off-duty does not, so it's a subtle reminder that she is outside protocol]

[If Ravi had asked, Eileen would probably assure him that Heimdall most likely doesn't. The only reason Eileen did it at all wass because she actually acted as Anais in the past. (Thank you, LARPing.) If she hadn't, she wouldn't have attempted at all, and probably would have rattled off some things about Ravi that had come up during play with him.]

I know, and I'm sorry for upsetting you like that, but I wasn't sure you would believe me unless I did it. Anais is so different from me that I don't think anybody would believe me if I just told them I played her. [Anais is better than she is, in her own opinion, but she's not about to say that aloud.] I won't do it again, though. Don't worry. It feels weird without a costume.

[nope, that still would have been creepy and weird and unsettling. the issue for him is players acting like they don't deserve respect or privacy just because their players know things about them]

Without a--

[Eileen, you're not helping your case here. His demeanor turns pretty quickly to irritation, though still with a tinge of unsettled]

You don't own her, Wallace. You don't get to be her anymore.

[And there's the reaction she was more expecting. Technically, she'll never be Zenderael's Anais again, Ravi, but she has the feeling bringing up the LARPing and everything now would definitely be a bad plan. So she supposes she still has to omit things. She really doesn't like doing that...]

I never said I did own her. People aren't property. Besides, she's her own person. Trust me, I'll never be her again. [Eileen would never be able to be Anais, anyway. Anais is too much of an idealized individual for Eileen for her to ever possibly be like her former paladin.]

You say that, but you aren't showing me you think that.

How am I supposed to show you what I'm thinking?

[No, seriously, Ravi, she has no idea how to do whatever it is you want her to do. How's she supposed to show you what she's thinking? She's having enough trouble articulating everything she wanted to try to tell you.]

I could never be her, Ravi. I can act like her, sure, but that doesn't make me her. It never did.

[And it's not like she could explain that she created Anais because that's the sort of person she wished she was. She doesn't think Ravi would take very well to that.]

Sergeant Savarna. [snapped correction, you don't get to call him by his nickname right now Eileen]

Do you realize how insulting it is for you to act like her in front of me? To say you won't do it again because it doesn't feel right if you're not dressed like her?

Vallinar is a person. Pretending to be her is disrespectful.

I only did that because you wouldn't have believed I was her player otherwise! Who would? I wouldn't have believed me!

[Wow, Eileen, that is not an excuse. That's not the only way you could've proven that.]

You didn't want to tell me this because you thought it would make me angry, yes?

Wallace, do you even understand why I'm angry about players?

[She wasn't trying to make it an excuse, Ravi. It was, quite honestly, the first thing that came to mind, and, in her own opinion, the best way to solidify it. Besides, as far as she knows, any other way to try to prove it would have earned a similar reaction from him.

This was exactly why she didn't want to tell Ravi. This is exactly what she thought might happen, just with less punching. She just didn't expect that it would hurt so much to have him look at her like that. ]

Not you specifically, no, but I can see why someone would be. We manipulated your lives, after all. Why don't you tell me, though?

["why don't you tell me" wow what condescending phrasing to use there. and even if it's not condescending it's giving him attitude at the very least]

[he promised himself at the start of this that he wouldn't react harshly but whoops that promise is already broken. he just has so many Feelings about the whole situation]

Private Wallace, you might be a player and you might be the player of one of my peers, but you are my subordinate. You will address me with the respect my rank is due.

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